Features
Sex and the Campus: Masturbation - Stress Relief at the Tips of Your Fingers
By Kate Cieplicki ’16
December 10, 2015
As the weather gets colder and the semester gets more stressful, it may seem like there is not much to look forward to. There’s little time to go to the gym, and you don’t have time to watch a movie or go out. Without time for these activities, how does one relieve stress?
What if I told you there’s a way to relieve stress that’s free and fun? Masturbation takes a little practice, but once you get it right it’s a hobby you’ll always have! There are mental and physical health benefits to masturbation as well.
I am writing this article under the assumption that most men do not need to be convinced of the joys of masturbation. I see jokes about boys and men masturbating in movies and on TV. I hear men talk about masturbating. To me, male masturbation is not taboo. Men masturbate, it feels great, and the whole world knows.
Unfortunately, women’s relationship with masturbation is a bit more complicated than men’s. I’ve talked to women who’ve never tried masturbating. They think it is dirty or something to be ashamed of. They’ve never been told it’s something they can do. Maybe you’ve already discovered the joys of masturbation. If so, this article can help you up your game. If you’ve never tried masturbating before, this article can help you try it just in time for final’s week.
First, pick a time of day when you feel most aroused to first try masturbating. I find I’m most in the mood to masturbate after a hot shower in the mid-afternoon but you may find that your libido peeks during a different time of the day. Pay attention to the natural cycle of your body and pick a day and time to try masturbating when you know you normally feel aroused. Don’t force it if you’re not feeling it! Wait for another day. Masturbation should always be fun, never forced.
In the beginning of your masturbation journey, you will want lube. I prefer water-based lube because it is easy to cleanup. Lube is good for a couple of reasons. It allows you to go faster and not worry about staying aroused. It also prevents too much rubbing, which can lead to irritation. If you’re not going to be able to shower right after masturbating, I also recommend holding onto some damp towelettes to clean up with after your personal sexy time. Target sells these (Note: “pH regulating wipes” is code for “use this to clean your vagina”). Please note that these wipes don’t make up for peeing after masturbation. You’ll probably still want to do that to clear out any bacteria and prevent a UTI.
Next, put on some music or a fan to give you some privacy in a crowded dorm. If you have a roommate make sure they won’t be back for a while. Treat this session as if you are having sex with someone else because you are having sex with someone: your lovely self! Experiment with what kind of touching feels good on your body. And then let nature take its course. You may not orgasm the first time you masturbate, but it will likely happen if you keep practicing.
Once you’ve mastered (ha) the masturbasics, then and only then would I recommend incorporating other elements into your routine. I find masturbation is best when I’m alone with my thoughts but you can also incorporate pornography or erotica. You can involve a sexual partner in your masturbation (yes, people in relationships and with hook-ups masturbate) through sexting (just please make sure you trust this person!), sharing pornography and erotica that gets you off (also a great way to share sexual fantasies), or even through incorporating mutual masturbation into your sex routine.
As you continue to masturbate, consider investing in a vibrator. Though vibrators are not for everyone, they can enhance pleasure during masturbation and also be incorporated into partner sex. I’ve seen vibrators that cost from $10 to hundreds of dollars. My advice would be to start cheap and work your way up. If you masturbate frequently, a high-quality vibrator is a good investment. Most of the more expensive vibrators charge electrically which is better for the environment because you don’t have to dispose of batteries. They also last longer and are stronger than less expensive vibrators. If possible, I would recommend visiting a high-end sex store to purchase an expensive vibrator (these are in most major cities), rather than purchasing one online. That way you can ask questions of the store workers, test the vibrator on your hand, feel its texture and have a better understanding of its size. Investing in a vibrator is a big deal, and you should make sure you thoroughly research your purchase.
There are many benefits to consistent and effective masturbation for women. First, you can experience all the joys of sexual stimulation with no risk of STDs, pregnancy or running into your hook-up in Commons on Saturday morning. Second, masturbation improves your mood by releasing endorphins. The post-masturbation feeling is similar to a post-workout feeling. Third, masturbating can dramatically improve your sex life. If you are having trouble orgasming with a partner, then masturbation is a great way to learn what you want and then gently guide your partner to pleasure you better. How is he/she/they supposed to know what you want if you don’t know yourself? Masturbation can also help you sleep at night, relieve menstrual cramps (to avoid the mess, do it in the shower) and even improve body image. That’s a lot of free benefits… just in time for finals week! So, ladies, as the end of the semester stress sets in, remember: stress relief is just an orgasm away, and you can make it happen without a partner.