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Duel Observer

Volume 44

I NEVER WANT TO USE THIS WEBSITE PROGRAM AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE. YOU BETTER ENJOY IT. OUR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF AMANDA IS SO GOOD AND AMAZING AT HER JOB. SHE IS DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE WRITING THIS.

Volume 43

duel fall '23! What could be better than this? duel spring '24 perhaps? wait and see...

Volume 42

So it's been a couple of years since the website's been updated. But we're back online and ready to bring you your weekly dose of the duel observer.

Volume 41

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE HERE. MORE DUEL HAVE FUN!

Volume 39

We're on campus and so is omicron. Come read what new jokes we have about the pandemic we've been writing about for the past two full years. Who knows, maybe we'll slip in a joke about D Wipps.

Volume 38

That's right, the weird blue napkins are back in commons. With covid not gone but definitely not as bad as it was and facing no chance of resurgence at all, we're back in kj 101 and somehow still think we're funny after all these years. Read this volume and prove us wrong.

Volume 37

It's here! so come on down to the duel's spring '21 issue! or don't. we don't judge.

Volumes 34, 35, and 36

Volume 34, 35, and 36 are now all online! Check out Volume 36 to read our most recent issues from Fall 2020, And stay tuned for a lot more online content from The Duel!

Click Here! (Vol. 34)
Click Here! (Vol. 35)
Click Here! (Vol. 36)

Volume 33

Volume 33 is here!

At last, the messenger crows that harvest new issues of the Duel and scan them at the library have figured out how email works! With the PDFs they've provided, we can finally share Volume 33 of the Duel Observer here on our website. Read to your heart's content, and remember--beak holes in the headlines are a small price to pay for keeping our dedicated avian staff employed and off the streets. How's that for community values?

Volume 31 and 32

That's right, the long national nightmare is over — Volume 31 and Volume 32 are finally here! We've spent the past year fighting to free these volumes from the giant stone tower where they were imprisoned by an evil sorcerer who hates satire and the color blue. We lost a lot of good editors scaling that spire, but now you, the reader, get two volumes for the price of one! So it all sort of evens out.

Click Here! (Vol. 31)
Click Here! (Vol. 32)

Volume 30

Listen I know how it is. You've been waiting all semester long to see that hot blue Duel content you love in gray PDF form on our website. You've been refreshing the page every week to see if something, anything, would appear to fill that 11"x17" rectangular void in your heart. And we've kept you waiting. There's no excuse for the way we've left you hanging, but we hope you'll still have us back. We're just a publication, blinking on a screen before a reader, asking you to love us.

Volume 28

Advance critics call our most recent volume "embarrassingly unfunny," "a disgrace to light blue publications everywhere," and "utter trash," and we've decided to take that as a compliment. Get your weekly dose of small college satire here!

Volume 27

Take a nostalgic look back at all the cherished events that didn't happen in Spring 2016.

Volume 26

Hi Mom, abroad students, and alumni who still can't let go. This semester's issues of Hamilton's best blue satire paper are now available for you to read.

Volume 25

It's finally here. Kick off your summer and your feelings of nostalgia with us by hitting the link.

Volume 24

I know, we're surprised too. Catch up on last fall's fake news by hitting the link.

Volume 23

We had a lot of fun producing this volume. Keep yourself updated on fake news by hitting the link.

Volume 22

Our most mysterious volume. See our prized collection of the only two fully preserved issues by clicking the link.

Welcome to the Duel Online

Because seriously, we can haz internets and we'll be working hard to bring you the most real-to-life fake online news experience you can dream of. We're extremely excited about our new media, and we plan to take full advantage of every opportunity.

The internet is a terrible, dirty, provocative place and we couldn't be happier to contribute to all of it. Ever since Al Gore invented the World Wide Web to spread lies about polar bears melting glaciers (I'm pretty sure I got that right) and get back at old people for taking Florida from him, it has been the perfect place for everything ridiculous.

So, naturally, we will be updating the website with current editions of The Duel so you can get your fix without having to walk all the way to the nearest major building. Additionally, we will be uploading old editions to the site archives which you can access with our handy navigation pane. I know, this is that cool.

So, all of that being said, Welcome! We're so glad you came. Please feel free to peruse our selection of the latest and greatest in things that didn't happen. Browse the site and maybe you'll find something you didn't expect.

As Alexander Hamilton once said, you never know what kind of crazy shit you'll find on the internet.

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