Opinion

We must stop glorifying domestic abuse

By Bridget Clare Lavin ’18

Domestic violence, a pattern of behavior used to establish power or control over others through fear or intimidation, continues to plague American society. Many women and men constantly live in fear of their loved ones throughout their lives. Households, work environments and college campuses become uncomfortable and daunting environments. Currently, one-in-four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, and men are the victims of nearly three million physical assaults in the U.S. However, despite this prevalent issue, we live in a culture that glorifies abusive behaviors and violence toward loved ones. The Hamilton community should raise awareness when cultural depictions normalize domestic violence.

Fifty Shades of Grey broke records this February, making $81.7 million in its opening weekend. It also had the biggest opening weekend for a film directed by a woman. But the film’s popular debut, in fact, signifies a bad message about the state of our society. The film, and the novels upon which it is based, essentially glorify and romanticize a heavily abusive relationship. Throughout the novel, the main love interest, Christian Grey, is described as “domineering” and “dictatorial.” He stalks the protagonist, Anastasia Steele, demands to know where she is, even when he barely knows her, and tries to keep himself in control of what she encounters. This is not the behavior of a caring, devoted lover, as he is portrayed, but rather of a manipulative stalker. Fifty Shades reinforces problematic ideas and images created and perpetuated in this series of novels.

Instances of domestic abuse are centered on one partner using violence and intimidation to control the other. Time and time again in Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian uses “sex as a weapon.” When he learns Ana is a virgin, he decides he must immediately “remedy” this problem and proceeds to devour her. He masks the fact that he is taking advantage and controlling her through giving her excessive amounts of pleasure. Another prime example is when she visits her mother in Georgia. Ana tells Christian that she would rather go alone so that she can reflect on their relationship and if this dynamic based on sexual domination is something that she could be comfortable with. Although he agrees at first, Christian eventually flies down to meet her in Georgia, in a huge invasion of her privacy and goes against wishes that she specifically expressed to him. What if Ana had not been ready for Christian to meet her mother? Too late now: because he showed up on her doorstep with no thought of the repercussions. This portrays the fact that this relationship is all about Christian, and that he feels he must hold the control.

Furthermore, throughout the novel, Ana expresses that this is not the type of relationship she would choose to be a part of. She’s a young naïve student who’s thrilled that this older, mysterious man is interested in her, and therefore willing to give him everything he wants from her. Readers get the sense that she however, wants a typical loving relationship, and she wants it with him. Since he wants a more atypical relationship, she is willing to settle for  an abusive BDSM-based relationship because she wants to be with him. This is not a healthy relationship to be a part of, Ana feels that she must fundamentally change her wishes to be with him. This is not a healthy compromise: this is Christian controlling Ana’s life and the relationships she chooses to have. Through his use of an ultimatum of a domineering relationship or no relationship, Christian uses emotional manipulation and controls her actions.

These are only two instances in which Fifty Shades of Grey portrays a relationship of abuse disguised as a love story. The immense popularity of this series is problematic because it normalizes this type of relationship, and rather than bring attention to the issues, makes its audience want the characters to be together. The type of unhealthy behavior exhibited by the characters is not chastised, but celebrated. We should not only recognize this, but take action and start conversations to raise awareness. Domestic violence is a real problem in this country: every year one-in-three female homicide victims are murdered by their partner—it is the third leading cause of homelessness among families and more than four million women experience rape or sexual assault by their partners. We need to educate the community on the Hill about these facts, and the harms that many people face as a result of domestic violence. Taking steps to end the glorification of stories about domestic abuse is the first step many of us can take to help combat abuse.

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