Opinion
Feeling safe to speak: gossip’s destructive power
By Wynn Van Dusen ’15
May 1, 2015
I just finished a two-week run of Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town,” in which, at one point, my character turns to the audience and says, “In our town, we like to know the facts about everybody.” At Hamilton College, this is especially true.
We do like to know the facts about everybody. We like to know who is sleeping with whom, who got what grade in what class, who said what about whom and what did that person say back. These whisperings push the rumor mill along, and we delight in watching our tales swirl around and change shape, like a sinister game of cloud watching.
These rumors become the noise that fills unwanted pauses in dinner conversations; they are what motivate us to rush to a friend’s dorm and whisper, “I have the craziest thing to tell you.” Gossip feels good because it gives us a false feeling of purpose, urgency and belonging, thus there is quite a bit of comfort in the Hamilton College rumor mill.
Of course, this comfort only applies to the fluff, but the rumor mill does not discriminate. We just as easily pass along funny stories about who spilled their coffee in Commons, as we do who was hospitalized last weekend, who is accusing whom of sexual assault, who might get expelled, etc. These rumors invite a choir of self-proclaimed experts, all of whom assert that they know the real truth behind these stories, and that they are certain of who is right and who is wrong.
Through our gossip we have created a toxic environment on campus. Yes, orientation and public notices encourage us to seek help if something happens to us here, but we are not made aware of the social repercussions of doing so. The Hamilton College rumor mill is as bold as it is destructive, and any brave soul who comes forward hoping to seek action against a wrongdoing, be it sexual, academic, social, etc., will likely be met with hoards of unwarranted backlash from their peers. Through verbal abuse at parties, threatening text messages and anonymous postings on the masturbatory coward’s den that is YikYak, we have created an ugly environment in which students who speak out risk being bullied by their peers for doing exactly what they are supposed to do.
As a senior about to graduate, I feel helpless watching a campus that has failed so spectacularly in creating an environment where people can seek justice with anonymity and privacy. For what it is worth, I have spent the better part of the last week speaking with students and administrators to get a better idea of what is available for students who want to speak out, as well as deciphering my own experiences over the past four years.
I spoke with Meredith Harper Bonham, our Title IX Coordinator, and I was impressed with how many options Hamilton has to offer, including housing, academic and counseling support for students in need. I once dealt with a hairy social issue on campus, and I found that while it was difficult, and I was certainly ostracized, it’s possible to switch living arrangements and friend groups on this campus. There are always new people to meet, be it your first year here or your last, and it was in the aftermath of my most difficult times here that I made my closest friends.
Still, though I wish I could tell you that coming forward will always result in a happy ending, I cannot. Especially at a school this small, it can get and stay ugly for a long time. However, I urge you to think of how many people you might be able to help, directly or indirectly, by sharing your story. I can tell you from my own experiences speaking out against sexual assault, that while it was scary and lonely at the time, in hindsight, it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
Lastly, if you are someone who has ever bullied someone for coming forward: shame on you. I do not care if you are protecting the reputation of a best friend or a beloved Greek organization, I do not care what you think of the person making these claims. If you wer not directly involved in an incident, do not involve yourself, but if you must: bring it up with an administrator, and do not talk about it with other students. Remember that when you manipulate and insert yourself into a rumor, you are breaking and entering into someone’s real life.
At Hamilton, we pride ourselves on our community, and sometimes it is easy to confuse support with unwelcome insertion into personal issues, and talking on behalf of others. Instead of doing this, I might suggest supporting someone by simply listening to what they have to say.
If you find yourself missing the Hamilton College rumor mill, I would remind you that the comfort it provides is akin to when someone urinates in a public pool: it feels delightfully warm and cozy at first, but when you step back and process what is really going on, it is nothing but immature and disgusting. So, stop peeing in the pool, everybody, our campus will be better for it.