Opinion

Anxiety on the Hill

By Emily Tubb ’19

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When I was younger, everyone told me “College is the greatest time of your life!”  I had this picture in my mind that it was all fun—a time of no rules or responsibilities.  But, as I got closer to my “amazing college years,” I came upon my own realization: college can be both the greatest and most difficult time of your life.  When I received my acceptance letter from Hamilton, it all became real to me and I recognized both my excitement and dread.  Fear arose within me because I knew that I would experience all the typical struggles of a college student, but also the added problem of the unwanted companion I’ve had to deal with most of my life: my mental illness.

I have struggled with severe anxiety and anxiety-induced depression for as long as I can remember.  It has been a hinderance to my daily life, but I was able to manage it through the help of my parents, friends and medication.  Because of this, change is very difficult for me, so the looming transition to college seemed terrifying.  I was moving several thousand miles away from home to a school where I did not know anyone, while my friends from high school all went to state universities near or in Oklahoma.

The day came when I moved into my new home on the Hill, and the mix of emotions was too much to handle.  I was so afraid of the struggles I would face during the transition, but I was pleasantly surprised to see how well Hamilton easily transitions first-year students into the school.  Despite my expectation that I would struggle through the major transition in my life, I absolutely loved my first semester at Hamilton.

I was welcomed into the open-minded community with ease, making friends that have proved to be some of my closest to date.  I was assigned a roommate who is one of my best friends at Hamilton and who has been there for me through all my ups and downs.  I immediately felt welcomed onto the rowing team, where both my teammates and coaches have given me major support through everything.  The administration has been flexible and helpful with me and the mental health resources, like the Counseling Center, have been super beneficial.

That being said, of course I still struggle. My anxiety will always be a part of my life.  It can make simple, daily tasks almost impossible, but with the help of all the resources at Hamilton, I have been able to work through my difficulties.  There have been very low points, but the community has been there for me during my hard times, helping me get back up on my feet.  I do not know where I would be if it had not been for all of the wonderful people Hamilton has put in my life.

Many people struggle with mental illness while in college, and although Hamilton does offer great resources to help them, there is a stigma surrounding the entire topic.  By creating an environment that openly discusses and works to help those dealing with any sort of mental illness, the topic will become increasingly less stigmatized.  People will realize they are not alone, and become more comfortable reaching out for help.  My hope is that students will be able to utilize the resources the college offers and not be afraid to ask for help when they need it.

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