News
Dr. Ray gives talk on masculinity and sexual assault
By Dillon Kelly ’18
November 3, 2016
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On Wednesday Nov. 2, Dr. Rashawn Ray spoke to a group of Hamilton Students about sexual assault, with a specific emphasis on men’s involvement. The fairly large crowd was pretty evenly split between men and women, who were mostly Resident Advisors and leaders of various groups on campus. The group was lively and excited to hear Dr. Ray’s words.
The preparation for this talk began last May in collaboration with Professor Jaime Kasinkas, who sponsored Dr. Ray’s visit last spring. It was the goal of the administration to bring together various groups, such as sport teams, the counseling center, the DMC, and other student activity groups, to speak and work with Dr. Ray. The sessions are individual workshops catered to these specific groups, which is why they were closed to the rest of the campus.
Dr. Ray is an Associate Professor at the University of Maryland, College Park, where he teaches in the Sociology department. His talk was called, “Rape Culture is a Thing: Men, Media And the Glamorization of Physical and Sexual Violence.” When beginning this talk, Dr. Ray made it clear that he wanted it to be less of a lecture and more of a conversation, where people felt comfortable asking questions and talking about their personal experiences.
Dr. Ray began by talking about his background and how he became involved with these issues. He attended the University of Memphis for his undergraduate degree and did his graduate work at the University of Indiana. While there, he conducted a yearlong study about fraternities, where he would follow the members to understand their lives. He learned that men often do not have the necessary language to talk about sexual assault, causing him to pursue this issue and educate men specifically about what should know.
He then went on to show various pictures from the media that contribute to the commonly held notion that men are socialized to conquer their sexual partner. To further prove this point, Dr. Ray discussed a study on of his graduate students conducted that entailed asking men how they knew women wanted to have sex with them. What they discovered was that consent was rarely explicitly given and that as the sexual acts progressed, silence dominated the interaction. He emphasized the point that men are socialized to view sexual encounters simply as “getting around the bases,” and wearing women down.
Dr. Ray believes that it is because of the silencethatsurroundssexualactsthatmendonot have the language to talk about sexual assault. This is his mission — to educate men (usually who are white, heterosexual, cis-gender, and privileged) about how to talk about and prevent sexual assault. He says that it is all about collaboration, giving men the tools to acquire consent in a way that is perceived as “cool,” including phrases such as “are you ok?” and “is this ok for me to do?” Dr. Ray wants to breakdown what he calls the “grey area” of sexual assault, to make it clear that consent is given and that both parties are comfortable.
He spoke about how to make men aware of the misconceptions surrounding sexual assault and to then have them ultimately speak up to those around them that do not yet have this “language.” Dr. Ray notes that simple phrases suchas“dude, that’snotcool” or“don’tsaythat,” are effective while also maintaining a level of “coolness.”
The lecture ended with Dr. Ray’s main goal — making the normalization of sexual assault “uncool.” He believes this can be done by again, giving men the language to discuss sexual assault, as well as prevent it. He openly acknowledgedthatthepeopleinattendancewere individuals who care about these issues; however, he wants the people who are ambivalent or don’t view these issues as having to do with them. By leveraging what one has, Dr. Ray believesthatthosewhoarealreadyinvolvedcanget those who don’t care to pay attention. He gave the example of making it mandatory to attend lectures or events, making it clear to those who don’t care the implications of their actions if they choose not to comply. Dr. Ray understands that this solution is not perfect, but it does move the conversation in the right direction.
The talk ended with a question and answer section that included more personal anecdotes from Dr. Ray’s life and experiences dealing with these issues. One story that stood out was when he talked with his two young sons about what sexual assault is after one of his son’s friends kissed a girl on the playground even though she did not want to be kissed. He wants to start the conversation young, to ensure that young men specifically, have the knowledge and understanding that sexual assault is not acceptable. The talk was received to incredible praise and definitely resonated well with the students in attendance, who are passionate about these issues.