Features
Sex & the Campus: Costumes & Role Play
By Hannah O'Grady '17
October 27, 2016
Tags features
Happy (almost) Halloween everyone! Although it can be hard to relate sex and Halloween, we’ve managed to find a way… This week I will be talking about costumes/role playing! Although I am no expert, I undoubtedly learned a lot about this topic while working in a sex shop, so I will try and share that knowledge with you all.
To be honest, I’ve always been naïve about how common wearing costumes/role playing is in the bedroom. However, whenever I open an issue of Cosmopolitan, there always seems to be an article on this topic. Furthermore, a quick search online revealed that a rather large percentage of people have either engaged in role playing/costumes, or want to try it out at least once. This desire becomes evident when walking into nearly any sex shop (at least, the ones I’ve been inside). For example, the sex shop I worked in while abroad contained racks and racks of costumes and supplies for role playing (think handcuffs, whips, blindfolds, etc.).
To be honest, I’ve seen some pretty ‘unique’ costumes in these shops, but, hey, whatever floats your boat! There’s no limit in regards to what you can dress up as.
Before I delve further, I just want to clarify that role playing and wearing a costume in bed are not necessarily the same thing. Rather, you can in fact roleplay without wearing a costume. There are definitely no set rules to engaging in this activity, so you can just do what you and your partner like.
Before you delve into role playing or costume wearing, it’s probably a good idea to discuss with your partner what you’d like to do. Not only will discussing this fantasy increase your communication and openness with your partner, but it will also ensure that you two are on the same page in regards to what you are about to partake in. Another important aspect is to set limits. You don’t necessarily need to sign a contract (like what you may have seen in Fifty Shades of Grey). However, consent is a must. Depending on your fantasy, role playing, especially with props, can surpass some people’s limits. Therefore, discussing limits with your partner will ensure that you two have a happy, healthy time.
Now, before I continue with the benefits that I’ve heard about engaging in role playing, I’ll give a few examples in case you’ve never heard of role playing/costume wearing. One that I’ve commonly read about, as well as heard about from my customers, is acting out one of your favorite steamiest movie scenes. I’ve even heard of people acting out scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey, which I think is genius. These don’t necessarily call for a costume, if you have cold feet about that aspect.
As I stated, when it comes to costumes, there is no limit. The costumes that I commonly saw in my store involved a lot of leather. However, I’ve also heard of people playing around with student/teacher or secretary/boss costumes and role playing. I even saw a Justin Bieber sex costume in a sex shop once.
Now, the benefits. From talking to many customers, I’ve learned a lot about the potential benefits of role playing/costumes. The one I commonly hear about is how this can ‘spice up’ one’s sex life in unimaginable ways. Are you getting bored with the sex you are having with your partner? Change things up, whether that involves new locations or even role playing! Another benefit of role playing is the communication that arises from discussing these fantasies. As I’ve stated several times, consent is a must. Therefore, communication in these situations is key. This constant communication undoubtedly has positive benefits in regards to strengthening your relationship with your partner. Who knows, maybe you two have had the same fantasy all along! I also talked to one woman who claimed that role playing and wearing costumes infinitely increased her confidence to a whole new level. She went on to say that she had struggled with low confidence her entire life until she and her partner began to take part in these fun and mutual fantasies.
If role playing and costume wearing is not your thing, no worries! But, if you feel like trying something new as Halloween approaches, I’d say go for it.