Features
Gift Guide: Everything you never knew you needed
By Grant Hamilton ’18
December 8, 2016
Tags features
The holiday season is overwhelming. My mom once told me, “Everything happens at once,” and that rings especially true come late December. If you find yourself scratching your head over whether you accidentally sent your dog a sweater and your uncle a collar while being conversationally barraged by visiting family and operating on a diet of exclusively peppermint products, you are not alone.
We understand how important it is to get the perfect present for that special someone, so we prepared a brief summary of this season’s hottest gifts with hopes of alleviating your holiday stress. Let us start off with the easy stuff:
Something to give your best friend:
We recommend a little something to keep your bestie entertained on a snow day, like their favorite movies. The things is, this whole internet streaming services fad is going to blow over soon. Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Video–they are all junk and will be gone come January. DVDs are the future. Why not snag your friend a box set of their favorites? If you want to get them something cheeky, like 50 Shades of Gray or Magic Mike, pick something that will really get them going such as The Complete Rob Schneider Collection, 25 of your favorite DVDs in one smoking hot box set.
Something to give a family member:
Family can be tricky, but the good news is that they have to pretend to like your gift because you are related. Regardless, wackyshoes are a safe-bet that your loved ones will enjoy for years to come. Whether it be boots made from alligator heads or high-heels lined with Legos, you cannot go wrong.
Specialty footwear is also a great way to encourage those you love to try something new– a fresh pair of boxing shoes is a generous and subtle way to suggest that your grandfather ought to take up a new activity. But remember: when buying shoes for someone with an unknown size, be safe and order them something around eight sizes larger than you would expect.
Something to give a special someone:
Now for that special someone I mentioned, you need something that will make them say, “Oh, wow.” Wondering what your boyfriend wants this season? Well you know how men are, they only care about one thing: amphibians. Get him that African Bouncing Toad he is always talking about. Bring home the terrarium that he will never forget. He will think of you every time he feeds Mr. Jumples a cricket.
Still not sure what your girlfriend wants? We have an inside tip: for the trendiest holiday gift of 2016 we recommend buying your girlfriend an OBEY snapback, the black one with big white letters. Hurry to grab one before they fly off the shelves. When you see her out, do not be afraid to ask, “Hey, why are you not wearing that hat I got you? Do you not like it?” Bring it with you in case she forgets it on your way out to a fancy dinner with her family.
Staying on top of trends can be impossible, but when in doubt remember that fashion is cyclical, so bell bottoms are due. We recommend getting all your holiday shopping out of the way early, so you can focus on what really matters–receiving gifts.