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Brainstorm Corner: Romantic Gift Ideas

By Rachel Zuckerman ’19

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Chocolate. Preferably the expensive kind that you wouldn’t just buy alongside your prescriptions and tissue box at CVS. Ya know, one of those big fancy boxes with the pamphlet explaining what each piece is and how masterfully it was made.

A handwritten card. Never underestimate the power of just telling someone how you feel about him or her. Pour your heart out (sorry for the sap). Let’s leave it at that.

You. With a bow. Pop out of a box if you’re feeling a little “extra.”

Relevant redeemable coupons. Like the ones you used to make in elementary school for Mother’s and Father’s Day. “This coupon entitles you to one free restaurant choice without argumentation” or “Breakfast in bed” or “Redeemable for one foot rub.” These can get real scandalous real fast… If you’re into that.

A night in. Simple, fun, well deserved.

A night out. More complicated, potentially less fun, still well deserved.

The Daily Bull delivered to your door on the daily. For those with a good sense of humor.

A custom t-shirt with a photo of the happy couple on the front. Or other paired t-shirts. Such as an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt.

Whatever you prefer. “You’re so lucky to have me” mug found on Etsy.

“We go together like Kanye and Kanye” card. Also found on Etsy.

Apparently the Bronx Zoo allows you to name your own cockroach for Valentine’s Day. That would be a pretty dope gift if you ask me. The zoo even sends you a roach plush toy and some chocolates that I would hope, but can’t guarantee, are not roachfilled. (Bronxzoo.com/roach)

Frog-to-Prince justadd-water toy. Remember those little colorful pill-shaped toys you put in a glass of water that would turn into a dinosaur or some other fantastical being? Well, they make a frog-to-prince one for all those single ladies out there.

Love Gun Cupid Catapult. Exactly what it sounds like. Just don’t make the school go on lockdown for some widespread misunderstanding that you actually have a gun on campus (again).

Something heart-eyeemoji related. Endless possibilities here and almost guaranteed to please. Diamonds in any form will always go over pretty well.

You can buy a square foot of land in Scotland and become a lord or lady.

Nothing? Because you should love your significant other every day and not just because Hallmark decided they could make a ton of money by causing stress in the lives of the rest of us, while making half the population feel totally alone and inadequate. Oops.

And lastly, not having your birthday on Valentine’s Day. Yep, take that Christmas babies, I win.

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