December 1, 2011
Ah, the vibrator — treasured friend to many women but often perceived as a threat by their sexual partners. In bedrooms across the world, this sex toy has been making women’s partners feel inferior about their sexual capabilities for decades. Seeing as it can take upwards of 20 minutes for a woman to orgasm during oral sex, some people feel that their tongues are no match for the tiny electronic devices that can trigger orgasms in what seems like seven nanoseconds.
To all readers whose female partners are into their vibrators, I have good news: the vibrator is not necessarily a sign of a woman’s sexual frustration. Women don’t use vibrators — or engage in any form of solo sex — simply because their sexual partners aren’t making them happy. Rather, it’s common to masturbate or use vibrators when women want to indulge in a little “me time,” or when they want to explore their bodies and get to know themselves better. I’m not saying that nobody uses vibrators to cure sexual frustration; I’m sure that happens sometimes. I’m just advising you not to lose every ounce of your sexual self esteem the next time you hear the unmistakeable buzz from the other side of your girlfriend’s door.
Are you still feeling hostile toward your girlfriend’s little battery-powered friend? Don’t worry. Despite the fact that women’s vibrators can produce easy orgasms, there are actually lots of reasons why women prefer your tongues to their toys.
One reason why tongues have the upper hand is their element of surprise. The path of an oral sex-giving tongue is completely unpredictable. Have you ever tried giving yourself a massage? Or tickling yourself? Neither works because you can’t surprise yourself. It’s the same for a vibrator; sure, vibrators make women achieve a pleasurable biological orgasmic reaction, but there’s not necessarily anything particularly sexy or romantic about the whole experience because there’s nothing surprising. When it comes to oral sex, however, the constant surprising changes in a tongue’s direction, speed, and pressure can produce a really sensual experience between a woman and her partner.
In fact, if you really think about it, tongues decisively trump vibrators in all categories except for speed of vibration. I mean texturally, tongues dominate. You’re looking at hot, wet, smooth, slippery, squishy tongue versus a hard, room-temperature metal or rubber vibrator. There’s no comparison. And let’s be honest: a tongue also generally smells better than a vibrator and doesn’t require a post-sex cleaning session in your dorm’s bathroom sink.
Finally, some women might feel that there’s no sense of achievement in having a vibrator get them off; the vibrator didn’t ask to be thrust down there. You don’t have to court it, flirt with it, make it laugh or do any seductive work whatsoever to get it into your pants. Even though vibrators are nifty for a quick fix or for exploring your nether-regions, tongues are still great because for the most part, they are choosing to be down there. And that feels good.