September 11, 2014
Although I applaud the ideas behind The Spectator’s “Sex and the Campus” column which promotes a healthy sexual culture, the eradication of slut-shaming, and mutual respect between partners, I take issue with some of the points expressed in its most recent article. The author seems to draw a rigid line between hook-ups and relationships. She claims that in a hook-up situation, your partner only “care[s] about your body, your face and the way you’re dressed” rather than the “interesting parts [of your personality].”
The picture this paints of hook-up culture is one in which each partner is completely devoid of interest and care for the other as a human being and in which the other partner is reduced to a sexual object. Even though I think these completely physical relationships are an important and necessary part of a healthy sexual culture, and that they certainly should not have any stigma attached to them (promiscuity, slut-shaming, man-whore, what have you), it is important to note that not all hook-ups follow this physical formula. In some hook-up situations, the partners do actually talk to each other before-hand, develop a sincere interest in the other in as short as the time it takes to drink a beer, and become interested. Some have suggested that knowing the other person as an individual, even in the slightest can improve the sexual experience. Furthermore, I know of situations in which two people looking for sex met up through Tinder and later became best friends.
I strongly approve of the sexual positivity put forward by this column. Furthermore I understand that the author’s comments are warnings for those expecting more out of a hook-up than his or her partner might want. However, it is important to note that many sexual partners are invested in each other as human beings, and are sometimes better off because of it.
—Brendon Kaufman ’15
No comments yet.
Comment Guidelines
Please log in to post a comment