Editorial

Letter to the editor

By

 Re: LGBTQ Out and Ally lists

I am an outspoken person; anyone who knows me (and even those who don’t), and has heard me talk, long and loud, could attest to this. Yet for the past two weeks, I have spent quite some time struggling with an issue of articulation, and, for once, found myself on the side of silence.
Since the Days-Massolo Center first sent out a call for students to place themselves on LGBTQ Out or Ally lists, to be published today in conjunction with National Coming Out day, I have struggled to determine whether I believe in such a list, and tried to get as many perspectives on the subject as I could. I went with a friend to talk to Amit Taneja, the director of the Center and the person responsible for bringing the list to Hamilton, who articulated the rationale behind this concept, and have developed my own opinion, which I feel the need to explain.
The arguments for such a list are numerous and justified: it brings visibility to a marginalized group that is otherwise invisible; it forces us all to be more aware of issues of sexuality that many chose to ignore; it is a show of solidarity that will hopefully bring support to people who may feel isolated or even suicidally alone. To me, perhaps the greatest benefit is what it will do for us as a campus community, forcing us to step up for a group of students who are more ignored at Hamilton than they should be.
While raised awareness may be better for the health of our campus, however, there is a spectator quality to this act, and, as accepting as we may view our campus community, there will still be those who open the Spectator, turn to page 4, and say “Oh, look who’s gay.” Whether or not this will lead to negative attention, (or even any sort of attention—as one of my friends put it, “Would people begin to see me differently, if I chose to put my name down?”), I cannot say. But to me, there is an argument for not signing that has nothing to do with a fear of homophobia, but rather with the intensely personal nature of coming out.
As always, of course, I have my own perspective. My initial, gut response to this idea was negative; and since then I have had many conversations with many friends, both gay and straight, who, for a multitude of reasons, have chosen not to sign. I personally found myself faced with two questions: 1) Is this my moral obligation to show support for both my friends and the rights of a community that remains perhaps the greatest minority still persecuted by society, and 2) Would choosing not to sign either list be an act which some would interpret as intolerant, or irresponsible? I struggled with both of these for quite some time, before making up my mind. And now that I have, I feel obligated to explain this rationale.
Gay rights are perhaps the issue about which I feel the most strongly. I, who tend not to mix the personal and political, walked out of a Catholic mass this summer after 18 years of attending every Sunday, when the priest posed the theory that legalizing gay marriage is a step just before allowing unions between humans and cows. I turned and walked out of the door, and, until this changes, I do not intend to go back. To me, it is nothing short of a civil rights issue, and, a status as an “ally,” however we may define that, is something I live rather than write down. My feelings, however, go deeper than this.
One of my best friends from home believes that coming out should not be an act that is necessitated by our heteronormative society; that we should not be assumed straight unless otherwise stated. I would go a step further and hold that, although we unfortunately still live in a world in which our sexuality is a defining factor, it should remain a very personal factor. I will tell anyone who asks that I most likely do not define as straight, but, like so many others, am questioning where I lie along what I firmly believe is a long and somewhat ambiguous spectrum. But the fact is that this remains my story to tell, and distilling such a complex and intensely personal identity to a list published in a newspaper in a way robs it of its nuances, reducing the person to a singular quality, without allowing a qualitative explanation.
So when you turn to page 4, you will not see my name on either list, but it is not because it does not belong there. I fully support those who do put their names on a list, and see it as a very brave thing to do.  But I would also fight for the right of those who choose not to participate, and hold that this, too, is a big decision, and one not to be taken lightly.

Sincerely,
Maeve Gately ’12

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